Dear social workers, psychologists, teachers, doctors, principals, and all the other people that I sometimes have to interact with as a parent of an autistic kid,
Please stop making our lives a living hell.
I’ve written several posts about how Autism Parents are making autistic people’s lives hell recently, but it’s time to address what I think is one of the root causes of the Autism Parent ableism: You, the autism professionals who are very ableist and also exercise more power than you seem to understand.
No, I don’t mean all autism professionals, because some of you aren’t ableist. However, I refer to the vast majority of all the professionals I come across who are supposed to make my kid’s life better but somehow manage to do the opposite.
I mean you, if you are a principal who refuses to give my kid the support and accommodations that he needs and is legally entitled to, and instead blame my kid for avoiding demands.
I mean you, the spec ed teacher who thinks that I give my kid too much ACC, because you don’t understand that ACC is a way of communicating that reduces my kid’s stress level.
I mean you, the doctor who told my kid that he’s too used to getting what he wants when he told his dad that he didn’t want to be in your office because you had avoided to give us information about why he had to see you.
I mean you, the psychologist who tried to convince me that I should make my kid “practise” being around noises he couldn’t handle.
I mean all of you who believes in myths about autism. All of you who are treating autistic people like we weren’t real humans with feelings. I mean those of you who thinks that autism is just a lack of motivation and therefore we just need to be pushed and pressured with threats and gummy bears.
I mean those of you who don’t pay attention to what autistic people are trying to tell you.
Please stop. It doesn’t matter how admirable your intentions are, if you aren’t listening to autistic people, reading what we are writing, looking at us signing or looking at the pictures we use, you are harming us because you will have gotten it all wrong.