My heart

This is not a post about all the love I feel for my kid and some other people, this is a post about the physical pain in my heart. I’m starting to consider that it could be something more than just POTS and PEM. My chest is hurting all the way to my shoulder blades. I’m getting physically and physically weaker and stay in bed most of the time now. I’m trembling, dizzy and warm but my hands and feet feel cold. My blood pressure is fine since I started medicating with methylphenidate and my heart rate is ok as long as I stay in bed. Then it speeds.

Why am I writing a post about this instead of seeing a doctor? Because, as scared as I am of what’s happening to me, I’m still more afraid of doctors in general and especially in an ER. My PTSD is keeping me. I feel stupid and guilty but that’s the situation.

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